It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal]
2 posters
Author
Message
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:20 am
On a desk, deep within the confines of the Karaiou Compound, lies a leather tome, its pages are old but mostly empty. It is bound with a lock, and beside it is a beautiful pair of pens. Without intention, this supposed journal has become the writing impliement of an inner war as a young kunoichi tries to come to terms with all of herself, and a legacy that wasn't meant to exist.
Spoiler:
And in our dreams, I have always found myself, dreaming unrealistic things. Even when I was younger, I found that in my dreams that I stood amongst a field of flowers, the likes of which I have never seen, surrounded by waterfalls. Lights dance across the air, and in my heart I feel that this is more real then the daylight hours. No such place, exists in our desert, or in Sunagakure. There is peace here, peace that my heart aches for, that tugs at my very core as if it was magnet, and I steel. It calls to me, a call that some days, echos long after I have awoken.
Books, yielded me no answers - no book, can to describe to me more then I already know about this dream. This dream stems from some sort of longing. I do not feel that I belong amongst my people, that I do not wish to be so detested. I know that I am favoured by my family, but those who are against me, are far louder then any who are with me. None of those present, love me in the same sense.
My mind still screams that this place does not exist, a harsh counter point that my instincts tell me to ignore. My mind, no my curiousity begins to get the better of me. I inspect the lights the moment they are closer to me. My hand should not reach out, but it does and the strangest thing is I feel. I feel it as it brushes against my hand - some of these lights pass through me. But yet this one, it stays by me. Idly it floats about my head, before it rests in my outstretched hands. Its warm, and it fills me with a warmth that I do not remember craving, that lasted until the waking hours.
[Here, the writing changes: It is no less neat and concise, but if anaylzed it is now more confident, and outgoing. Defined and personalized.]
This is oddly sentimental of you, Suzune. A journal, about our dreams? I think you know what I think that place is. Tell them about the man, and the image you found in Mother's lab. Someday some one will read this, and they should know the context of our story. The man we catch glimpses of in that dream looks like our father. Isn't it simply darling? She longs to know a man whom never knew her, or her mother. The same way she visits our dear mother, that madwoman who gave us life and left us in the same instant with flowers every week.
But here, she writes about dreams, and fears and everything that makes her vulnerable to the world. She is weak, and without I.. She would be nothing. For there is never an I for us, there is only we. A helpless maiden, and her beloved lady knight. I am our strength, I am our courage... Although sometimes, she manages without us. Scoring a date with Setsuna-kun hm, Suzune? Best let me pick the outfit. I've seen what you favor. Although you can do the cooking.
At least we can agree on something there. You have much more passion for cooking. I have more of a passion for romance. You never let us flirt. We won't bite -
[The writing violently cuts off in the journal]
Your whims, hurt others Tsuzune. I would not let you hurt any of my friends. Even if we are interested in some of them. You are just interested in a good time that I have no desire for until we are married. Also? Destroying that building to prove your point about the arranged marriage? Not what I would call tactful
The boy was ugly. I told them no, and that they cannot make those choices for us. Mizhou-sempai didn't scold us upon her return, and Tsuku hid in his room for days. Mizhou-sempai would have taste. Tsuku is an old man who tries to do right for us, but he will never let it go that we took the leadership of the clan from him just by existing. And the elders still want us to hide our hair, and face!
It is getting ridiculous, at least they have become more lenient. I cannot believe you made such a careless mistake, telling Arietta. Now she knows that we are of main branch blood. Thank goodness she never remembers or thinks of history or asks reasonable questions.
Although, its adorable, watching your mind panic when you almost let slip of our existance to Satsume. It was all I could do to save you from that bumbling situation. What an adorable little morsel he is. I still prefer Setsuna, he has that.. delightfully cruel side. Not a good man at all, and wouldn't I -love- to be bad with him. I could treat him like a woman, make him cry out my name. But you'd love a good man, wouldn't you..? I can feel your worries. Does Setsuna-kun even like me? To me.. That doesn't matter..
[The font changes back to its original writing, and they begin to interchange]
Stay away from Satsume, Tsuzune. I'll not warn you again. That's the only thing you have to say? Shame. Suzune-chan wants to protect her beloved bird-boy from hersellllf. Poor little maiden found out she can be attracted to more then one maaan.
Chiyo
Posts : 1694 Join date : 2013-01-30
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:38 am
Excellent work hun=)
EDIT: Paid!
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Thu Feb 28, 2013 8:16 pm
Spoiler:
I dreamed again, today. I find it strange I never have normal dreams, and that I was in that world again. I see the lights more now, and when I am there I can tell them somewhat apart. By color. By behaviour. Each one moves with its own individuality, and that they are unique like people. That light that landed in my hands, is the same
They are people, Suzune. Or animals. I`m telling you we`re looking at spirits. You`re so dense. Why don`t you ask Arietta about it. I`m sure since you already gave away part of our secret. So what`s up with you and coming clean lately? You like Satsume, you even told him about our mother. I noticed you left out father. Speaking of which, I'm certain that's him in the dreams. Why don't you ask him to teach us?
You mean, call out to him in the dream? Is something we learn there, even something we could do with our physical fingers? Would chakra manipulation transfer over from our time here?
Of course that's what I mean. If he is Mithrajin Sappa Inka, our father, he should be able to teach us such thing. He was strong in the spirit world, long before he was dead. It makes sense that he would be here, if she's dead. We should be more concerned with training, given the situation. And for that matter, a genjutsu still feels so, I would say that it would work.
The Kage of Hot Springs.. No wonder he was so infuriated at us, speaking down to him. We're lucky he didn't kill us. Not that we had any other option. No doubt he is going to the problem for us in the future. We were able to move, when he could not. He will target our clan, and perhaps the Nara, if this is the case.. If the Hokage was actually in child-shock and not, say, under an influence from his convincing.
The Hokage, was aweful.
Let's not even go there. So much for stargazing with Satsume. I really wanted to show him the planets with our telescope.
Ugh, you and your celestial beings. Staring up at the sky like a love sick puppy, because you always dream mother was watching us from the heavens, so you always had to have a smile on. Next thing you know, you'll be taking him to see mother, and asking him what color your eyes are. Does he even know we have two different colored eyes? You're so vague, and he's so gullible you'd such a sickly happy match. And what's with you? Not keeping to the Good-girl route, of warning your friend that Satsume doesn't have feelings like that for her.
Chiyo
Posts : 1694 Join date : 2013-01-30
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:25 am
Great Job!
EDIT: Paid!
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Wed Mar 06, 2013 3:45 pm
Spoiler:
Far too often, did this seem to happen. I know this journal is supposed to be for our dreams, but instead I need to find an outlet, and unlike the men that seem to surround me, I cannot bring it to bear in such a violent way, and self-destructive way. If I denied us anymore sleep, I would be inefficient (Satsume says we do not sleep enough regardless) and if I were more violent, I would most likely be moving on to the explosives and poisons we are working on and that is just more agitating then expected. I do not want to accidently kill someone because I was not focused on the concentration of ingredients.
Arietta was taken from our home. Blood, blood - Ah.. We will dance in their blood-
Tsuzune, stop those thoughts. We are not bloodthirsty, keep your mind on vengence. I would not grant them such a quick death that would..
Bleed them out like a stuck pig!
(The pen seems to press harder here, a physical reaction to the dangerous woman that is there.)
Oh, we made a promise. A promise to protect our kin, and Arietta is our niece, afterall. Those boys all love her so much to rise up so easily for her, but ours is merely touched what is ours. What the boys do will be enough. We will merely delight in what they do. It would make them happier to seen the strewn bodies about.
Always about them, never about us, dear heart. We want blood. You love them more then yourself. Isn`t it so cruel, in a world where you love more, and they love others more.
SHUT UP! It is not our fault, it is not their fault it is not no one`s fault! This is the appropriate action! We should all be mad for her, they have insulted Sunagakure taken one of OUR heirs from their very borders and beaten her! We will find this Sati! We will find these Second Branch Deserters! AND WE WILL SHOW THEM WHAT IT MEANS TO STAND AGAINST OUR BLOOD!
How is the puppet coming along, Suzune?
He's looking pretty.
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:18 am
Spoiler:
I dislike that Yamanaka. Arietta was so kind to her, and I`m not particularly sure it was deserving. Ah well, its not like I can make a comment when she refused to say to context. Setsuna always has his reasons, when he does things. Shame she didn`t explain herself, but perhaps that was for the better. If it had been drastically insulting, then I might have thrown her out myself.
And he has a gorgeous upper body.
Stop interrupting my thoughts, stupid. Anyways, I've confirmed now, that other place in my dreams, the ones that always seemed so strange and like I went somewhere else.. That it was indeed the spirit world! And father! Father was there, and he knew us.
And you should sleep again! So we can see him again! Ask him to train us!
I wonder if there are words, to the prayer tune he was humming. I would love to know it. We could tell him about our plans for Takeru. He seems to be coming along nicely. I could work faster on him, if we slept more, but our time must be spent sorting through information as we try to hunt down those despicable people.
Someone's trying not to lose~ their~ temper~ Its cute.
What's cute?
Satsume. Setsuna.
Shut -up-.
Actually, that does apply to both of them doesn't~ it~? That's why you're helping, and sharing. Pretending that you don't want the blood as much as them. Subduing me, so that they can feel 'better' when they drive into the flesh of our enemies. Anyways, what color?
What color what?
Hair.
Oh, well. I was thinking black, we'll make it a different material from Youkai-chan's, so it can be brushed and washed. We will be taking him with us, for non-combat matters so he should look well, no?
Chiyo
Posts : 1694 Join date : 2013-01-30
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:30 am
Great Job =)
EDIT: Paid for both!
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:05 pm
Spoiler:
The world is a cruel and terrible place.
Twnety years ripped from my mind, my memory is a hazy, and every moment someone comes to close to me, I have to rework on years work of.. well hardwork, just warming up to others. Now if they close in, I have a moment of anxiety so strong, it affects even Tsuzune, not that she'd ever admit to having fears of her own. More disturbing, is the fact she has yet to interrupt me without a thought for the past twelve hours.
Now the two of you keep secrets together, and that disturbs me. You have no responded to any of my questions for hours, instead you just say forget about it, and block me out completely. To be a patient girl, and that someday, I'll know and that for now I have to wait. You rarely keep secrets from me, for so long. If something's wrong with him you better take care of him
I'll always take care of him, now, trust me. Trust me like you always have. I've killed for you, even in those younger days, those days after Elder Maiko died, and left us alone. I will take care of you both. Now, today - Today, I have plans, and you cannot be awake for them. So, please, rest - I will not make any mistakes, I know your heart better then you do. No one, will know. No one will tell. Unless they suddenly notice a change in our clothing, and honestly? The only ones who will realise that its actually a shift is Satsume.
So, for today. Leave your heart, and your trust in our hands. Its just me, afterall. And your heart needs a rest. You always want such strong face for him. I'll protect you while you sleep, and while we wake, we will not be alone.
I'm more then just the voice in your head, afterall. I'm the other part of your soul. I will keep the taint from you, in a vain hope, that someday, the deaths I've caused, will be redeemed. I am the madwomen, that you fear you will become, but our survival, first and foremost - .. is that which I crave above all. I will protect you, until the day you no longer need me. So sleep. Be with our father, and let me instead live in this dreary world for you for a day and bear all our burdens and fears.
Last edited by Suzu-chan on Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:37 am; edited 1 time in total
Chiyo
Posts : 1694 Join date : 2013-01-30
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:37 am
Excellent!
EDIT: Paid!
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:51 am
Spoiler:
Today marks the first day, that I have taken care of things by myself. You still rest, inside my head, but I would reassure you. The day goes well, the morning with lessons, none are the wiser, even Tsuku who knows my existance, nor the Captain whom I aid with his maps and calculations. The ship flies well, and the damage is repaired without any unnecessary workings beyond the usual repairs. Takeru too, progresses well. His new memory pattern that I have worked on with you this past two days, is enabling him to master the violin in a matter of days, scaring the poor Takumi who just started teaching him this morn.
She now intends to work him through the day, to see how much he can learn. Our Takeru, feigns exhaustion well, so she has given him a break for an hour. He plays the part of human better then most of humanity. I am so utterly proud of him, Suzune. He is the loving brother we should have had. Perhaps, father would love him. We should find a way to bring him to the dreams.
Now, I will take of Satsume, when he is free from his duties. Please, sleep a while longer. I will take of us, all of us, and of you, nothng will be different. Although, I believe I have made Zero-kun uncomfortable. I remember more, of the Ruby Kunai then you, for it was me who held it. You are our morality, our love for humanity. That which makes you seperate from me, and me seperate from you is what they took away. Do not weep for what you did, for you are beautiful still, and redeemed. I will see to it, that you will always be cared for, my dearest.
So for now. Close your eyes, rest. And let me sing to you. I can hear you waking in the back of my mind, and I will put you at ease.
Suzu-chan
Posts : 27 Join date : 2013-02-03
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:18 pm
Spoiler:
Life [lahyf] noun, plural lives [lahyvz], adjective noun 1. the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally. 2. the sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, especially metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment. 3. the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one. 4. a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul: eternal life. 5. the general or universal condition of human existence: Too bad, but life is like that.
(The Definition of Life, has been taped into the Journal.)
------------
At what point, does life, meat unlife? He can look back at me. I give him over a thousand words to say, a voice. Definitions, meaning. Sometimes I look at him and wonder, would it not be better for him to not know? He understands pain, pain that I have felt based on my memories, based on reaction. He understands love, but not how to feel it himself.
I still remember his first words.
"Mistress, I am incomplete."
Incompleted. I am incomplete. I'd not had the ability to overcome my embarassment - thank goodness for Tsuzune. I taught him the meaning. To be complete was to be whole in body. I was wrong about that. It was only one form of completion, I corrected it. He was still more curious then I expected. But then again, I made him to think as it were, using the basis of putting two and two together. So he questions everything, but does not voice all the questions.
I spent the first two hours of his existance, answering simple questions, and writing some down for later. He is polite, more so then I even expected. He's taken that from his data, and determined that it is the best way to interact. Goodness, did I teach him to smile like that? He is enthusiastic as much as he can be.
Sometimes, I forget he is a creation. And its still that way. I've managed to get it, so that he can process words, and add them manually to his memories. Talking. Speaking. Reading. he suggested suggested an experiment. The Violin is a beautiful instrument, he wonders if I could give him the memory of watching someone play, and if he could play based on the movements I have deduced.
He managed, a preference. Something he loved.
So I paid for him, a teacher. And the Takumi visits now, daily. She almost refused payment, when she first heard him play - and then I heard them play together. It fills me with pride, and joy. he learns, he actually learns.
The next week, he asks me for a blade. So I brought him, and myself to Setsuna, if he wishes to wield a blade, then I will learn so that he might, until I find a way that he might on his own. Now, everyday I find myself thinking of ways, even during that long impossible stretch.
Is this what a parent feels? To wish for them independance? Somedays, I cannot say no to him, his simple wishes.
Chiyo
Posts : 1694 Join date : 2013-01-30
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:01 pm
Excellent!
EDIT: Paid!
Sponsored content
Subject: Re: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal]
It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal]
Subject: It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] ![It Was Meant To Be A Dream Journal [Suzune's Journal] Icon_minitime](https://2img.net/i/fa/icon_minitime.gif){kind=icon}
Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:20 am